“Funny” II
by Scott Charles Adams on Mar.21, 2018, under Uncategorized
I worked a little late today. I figured everyone would leave work a little early, and that if I hit the roads at 6:30 instead of 5:30, I’d get home a little faster (I did) (this story is not about the commute).
At 6:00, I decided I’d step outside for a little vape. Since it’s a few hits instead of an entire cigarette, I tried to get back into the building at 6:03. No dice. Key card wouldn’t open the back door. So, I walk around the front. Key card wouldn’t open the front door.
I pull out my phone to call my supervisor (who is still working), and discover that somehow, I DO NOT HAVE HER NUMBER IN MY PHONE. Nor do I have any numbers for any of the four co-workers I know are still in the building. I try the main number for the building, hoping for a phone directory. No dice! The main number simply informs me that the office is closed.
Sensing that the desperation of my predicament needs an audible component, God turns the freezing rain into the cold, unfeeling hiss of sleet.
I had officially run out of ideas when one of my other bosses crosses the main hall to the building. I flag him down. He comes to the door and lets me in. “Forget your key card?” he asks. “Nope, it didn’t work.”
“Really? Let’s test it.”
It’s not lost on me that it’s a horrible idea for us to both step outside to test the key cards. It’s Troubleshooting 101. It’s just. Not. Done.
I try my card first. As predicted, it does not work. Now, he tries his card.
The first time, it doesn’t work. He has no coat on. He will die first, and I will be forced to eat him to survive.
The second time, his card works.
If his card hadn’t worked, this story would be hysterical.
As it stands, it was a little funny.
Tomorrow, I’m seriously not going to do anything funny. Seriously.
