A Prayer for Alex Jones
by Scott Charles Adams on Aug.27, 2017, under Uncategorized
Dear God,
Please kill Alex Jones. It doesn’t have to be ass cancer like Fred Phelps. (Thanks for that, by the way!) A regular old heart attack would do nicely. But, you know, feel free to be creative if you like. I’m not here to question Your Mysterious Ways. I just know you’re busy crafting Trump’s final days after my last prayer to You, and I don’t want this to get in the way of that.
I’m confident there’s a fatty deposit lodged in those arteries, just waiting for a little nudge. I’m not asking for a lightening strike or some bizarre accident involving anal penetration. Just a little nudge. Surely you can make time for a little nudge.
In Jesus’ name we pray.
Amen
