The Truth about the Dentist 12/15/97

One thing about having no medical benefits for an extended period of time . . . you get to realize just how badly you need That Guy.

I know a lot of people are afraid of him. And why not? You have no idea what he's doing in there and you're laying there counting ceiling tiles and smelling smoke. I hope I'm the only one here who's ever had such awful things going on in his mouth, they actually fantasized about going to the dentist. Ah . . . the sweet embrace of the dentist's chair; the elegant fragrance of disinfectants; the loving warmth of the dentist's spotlight . . . needless to say some pretty bad things were going on. And I was quite excited when my benefits actually kicked in and I could Feel the Love again.

Then I met the man.

The first trip was uneventful. Many x-rays and I was outta there (to my disappointment.) There wasn't much to the second trip either. Replaced a filling was all. It was the third trip that ... well ...

I'll spare you most of the details. I went in because a filling (or tooth for all we know . . . couldda been anything in at empty spot) had broken away and the filling needed to be replaced. Consequentially, the old one had to be drilled out. No big deal right? We've all faced The Drill.

I think it was when I heard that high-pitched whine and realized that I hadn't been given Novocain when all the Happy Thoughts left my mind. I'm talkin' every single one. I couldn't remember any Christmas Mornings or Birthday Parties. My trips to Disneyland were gone. There was just me and The Drill.

Arguably, perhaps since he was only drilling out another filling I didn't need Novocain. But I think it would have been at least a nice gesture. Maybe if he'd said 'You shouldn't need Novocain for this but you're welcome to some of my stash if you like.' Maybe that would have been a nice little courtesy. Unfortunately, I don't think the man knows enough English to get that point across so he didn't bother saying anything at all.


I've got a root canal coming up with this guy. It oughtta be memorable.

The Truth for the Day: Can't think of one. I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.