The Truth about All Hallowed Saint's Eve 10/27/99

Mr. Steele

I have to go to a Love Boat themed costume party tonight. What are your thoughts on costume parties and Helloween?



First of all, if your friends are throwing 'Love Boat themed costume parties ' perhaps you should find yourself a new circle of friends.

Second, were I invited to such a party I would go wearing a surgeon's mask and a stethoscope around my neck and nothing else. I'd be 'Doc Out of Control.' No woman would be safe from my Evil Gynecology.

Generation Xers really do have stupid things to pull us together don't we? Love Boat and Schoolhouse Rock. Bart Simpson is right: we really do need a Vietnam to thin our ranks. We shouldn't even be called Generation X anymore. We have become Generation OJ.

I have no idea what Kato is doing with his life, and I'm empty inside because of it.

But I digress.

Halloween. I think all actors love Halloween. (Oh . . . I probably didn't mention that I've acted a few times, did I? That's all right, I was never a very good actor.) (But if you didn't know Twistedlyn was an actress, why didn't you? I thought I told you to visit her page months ago? Shame on you.) (Wait does she even mention that she acts in her page? Come to think of it I haven't seen any mention of it. Shame on you Twisted. The fact is she's very good . . . and for certain roles roles requiring a specific type of detached dementia there's no one better.) (So there Twisted.) (My sister was bitten by a Moose once . . . )

That's something else that pulls Gen Xers together . . . Monty Python references.


There. Halloween. Right. I'm focused now. Where's my Jack Daniels?

Actors -- and many of the demented people who should be actors -- love Halloween because it allows them to become a character in dress and manners without The Straights giving them a second look. I'm reminded of a Battlestar Galactica where Cylons (you remember those big silver guys with the red eye-light that floated back and forth?) were walking around on Earth on Halloween and no one gave them a second look except perhaps to compliment their costumes.

Yow. Can one be too  Generation X? Duran Duran (Please please tell me now) just came on the radio, and I'm liking it.

But Halloween's the one day of the year that you can really cut-loose and be absolutely bent/skewed/zany -- and it's expected. It's demanded. People who walk around in suits on Halloween are looked at oddly. And they should be. Of course what we don't know is that anyone in a suit on Halloween probably walks around in white facial make-up and has piercings on every bit of spare loose flesh. So don't look at them too oddly or they'll kick your butt on November 1st.

I used to love Halloween myself. I was big on the Vampire-thing (which you probably couldn't guess, considering this page links to a vampire-novel of my own creation). For one day a year I would openly stare at women as if I wanted to bite their throats and they dug it for twisted Halloween-character related reasons of their own.

Of course that's all changed now. Now it's Halloween every day for me. I dress up like a car-salesman and pretend to be a Straight. I suppose this is the fate of all Aging Generation OJers.

The Truth of the Day . . . hmm this is a toughy. Okay I've got it. But it's so exceedingly profound it has to be two truths, and I have to contradict an earlier Truth. But the first Truth is a disclaimer so I should be safe from the Evil Attorneys.

Truth One: No Truth is Absolute. (So there Counselor.)

Truth Two: No matter how skewed your brain is the world still makes less sense then you'd like.