Dear Mr. Steele
Why haven't you written anything new for your website recently?
Hmm. It's a funny-thing really.
My first impulse was to simply answer that my head has been completely empty -- which is somewhat close to the truth actually.
However, a better answer would be that my Life for the last month just hasn't been funny. Not that it's been particularly unfunny or tragic, just nothing going on at all.
I've had a few false starts. In fact, I've had a bunch of false starts. For example, I was going to write about one of my cats getting hit by a car. And I was going to talk about the fact that losing this pet was relatively easy after having felt a family pet of 15+ years go limp in my hands at the vet's. It was terribly funny, but ya know, not 'Ha-ha' funny.
Then I was going to write about my first date with this girl I met. Except it never happened. Don't ask me why 'cause I don't know and I don't mind never knowing. All I know for certain is that it wasn't lack of Spark. She apparently believed for some reason the two of us having dinner wouldn't be a good thing and I'd rather take her at her word then open Yet Another Can of Worms.
That's when it hit me . . . the Idea to End All Ideas. I'd write something profound about turning 29 (which I did just today). Sadly, after much self-examination and deep thought, I've discovered that there is absolutely nothing profound about turning 29. It's just another number. Maybe I should be sad that my 20s are coming to an end . . . but ya know what? My 20s sucked. Good stinkin' riddance. These next twelve months can't go fast enough.
Besides . . . doesn't everyone pretend to be 29 for three or four years? Why would that be? I'm thinking that it might be because 29 is the best year of your life. Maybe this will be the year I finally get to sleep with two women at once. Hey . . . you have your dream, I'll have mine.
The Truth for the Day: It's important to have goals.