The Truth about Lago's Beast 9/21/00

Dear Mr. Steele

Question: Is it true tha the great Lago is now a kept man?? I mean living off the generosity of Mrs Steele?

Signed, Wondering

I think we can all see the intent behind this one, can't we? And, it's my own fault. I've been getting a little soft, lately. You know what? It's not my fault. It's all Mrs. Steele's fault. True Love has made me all soft and mushy. As stated in previous Truths, I'm practially a chick. So, let's see if maybe we can Wake the Beast, shall we?

First of all, it's IAGO. With an 'i'. Read a book.

Secondly, yes, for almost two months, I was a kept man, living off of the generosity and understanding of Mrs. Steele. But that ended, and I am now back to selling cars, despite the fact that I really, really wanted a career change. But this seems like a good dealership, so I'm content to work there.

Damn. No anger yet. Shit. Again, it's Mrs. Steele's fault. Maybe if she'd been a little less understanding about the whole thing -- bitched me out on a daily basis, or something -- just maybe if she could have had the Goddamned courtesy to add a little stress to the equation, maybe then I could good and worked-up like I used to ... really cut-loose and let him have it ...

Wondering, I forgive you for using the 'L.'

Gah! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!

Hrm. Okay. Clearly, the Beast is going to need a bit more inspiration.

Wondering, I'm very disappointed in you. Now, go to your room.