The Truth about Sex & Age 9/5/97

Dear Iago

Older women reach their sexual peak around 40-45 while men reach theirs in their early 20s. Why is that?

Biology's a bitch, ain't it?

First of all, I've got to say that I'm not 100% certain of these statistics. I suspect that the guy who came up with this theory is no longer attracted to his wife -- and that his wife by some fluke has just figured out the Female Orgasm Mystery and has suddenly been made aware of the fact that sex is indeed Good. There was a shift in attraction there and this poor bastard had to come up with a theory and publish it so it wife would let him get some sleep.

The fact is there's no Biological Imperitive for anything at all to happen once the species has been continued (i.e. once the children have been born). The fact that males peak sexually early-on is logical. The fact that women don't catch on until their 40s, I just chalk up to 'One More Thing about Chicks that Makes No Sense.'

You'd think that the respective peaks would make an older woman and a younger man a dynamite combination. It doesn't. Just trust me on this one.

I'll give you the rest of the letter too . . . just as a little bonus.

I also wonder why when you get on line do people tell you what they look like? not all petite blond women with little butts and big tits are beautiful ladies nor or all tall dark men handsome. and why does it actually matter when your on the friggen computer anyway? are people really that vain that they cant talk to an ugly person on-line? and besides you can lie like hell on the computer and be who or whatever you want.

The answer to the first part . . . 'Why does it matter what we look like online?' . . . is simple. At least for me it is. Once a conversation in a Chat Room starts who knows where it's going to lead? Talking turns to flirting turns to turns to two people typing 'oh oh oh' with one hand while doing unspeakable things with the other. Now . . . in order to keep my Happy Thoughts, who am I imagining on the other side of the keyboard? A She-beast with 5 o'clock shadow? No. I at least want the little details to be right. If a few of the little details are right (5'10 130 lbs tight-butt etc.) then I can at least attempt to pretend that the rest is falling into place.

But if you look like Di-after-the-crash then perhaps it's best that we continue discussing music.

But I do have to admit I do like that pic of you - Iago! hehehe see ya soon.


Well . . . thanks. In fact that brings me to another point: it's great being a guy because there are no rules to being good-looking. All good-looking women look about the same. A guy can be a complete troll but there's still some woman in the world who thinks he's good-looking. The trick is finding that woman.

And . . . Gentle Readers . . . don't send me a bunch of mail saying 'Oh . . . Iago . . . you're not a troll!' I know I'm not a troll. I'm a Piece of Meat. I was actually referring to the more famous trolls like Bruce Springsteen and Rick Ocasik. If only one in a ten thousand woman is going to find you attractive, the trick is to get out in front of ten thousand women and let the one fight her way to the front.

Today's Truth goes back to what I was talking about originally, the whole age-thing:

Not even the things about women that they can't control make any sense.