The Truth about Boyce 7/18/99
I know ... I know ... it's been over a month. I've been busy. I can't say with what just yet, but I'll be able to tell you soon. Just trust me. It's a Good Thing.
this is one crazy group of christians..
i especially like the section with casting out catholic demons..however, as one myself the page did not seem to have any effect on me.
talk to you later
Ooo ... yes ... finally something to write another Truth about.
First, I loved this page. I recommend it to everyone. Except you won't have to read through a bunch of Christian babble to see the good bits, because I'm handing you the best parts, right here.
Here's what you see when you first get there:
THE DEVIL DOES NOT WANT YOU TO READ THIS WEB SITE. THIS IS WHY YOU MAY BE HAVING MUCH TROUBLE OPENING IT, PRINTING IT, OR YOUR EQUIPMENT MALFUNCTIONING. Our incoming and outgoing email is sometimes lost in demon cyberspace.
This, I love. I wish I'd put it at the top of my page, and I'm jealous as Hell. The Devil must hold them in very high personal regard, to go to all the trouble of making Cyberspace unreliable, just to keep you from learning what they have to tell you. I also love combining 'The Devil made me do it' with 'The dog ate my homework' to create, 'The Devil ate my e-mail.'
Classic, classic stuff. And there's more on it, too.
We have received almost daily reports that when someone wants to open our web site or print our material, their printer or the computer malfunctions and will not print or download. Several people have told us they spent hours trying to get it to print. Others who tried to email us were so overwhelmed by their own demons, that they could hardly type out the words they wanted to say.
Takes two hands to type, Rev.
This is quite normal. It seems that the more desperate you are to seek help, the more the demons interfere.
Two demons specifically assigned to cause malfunctions in electronic equipment are BOYCE and BOICE. Bind them up in the name of Jesus, and tell them to leave your equipment.
If you have trouble contacting us, pray this, "Father, in the name of Jesus, I bind up all my demons and put them in THE BOX."
The Box? Isn't that a euphamism for ... oh, never mind.
There is nothing wrong with our web server. The demons don't want you to find the truth.
This universe ain't big enough for both our Truths, Hoss.
The odds of winning a giant lotto are less than the odds of so many computers having problems with our site.
Wow ... how's that for confidence in your html? You aren't experiencing technical difficulties ... it's the hand of Satan. I'm now convinced that AOL must be a powerful force for Good in the Universe, for Satan to muck-about with it so much.
I'm tempted ... so tempted ... to write to these people. Clearly, they need help, and not just a little help, either. We're talking truck-loads of help, shipped in big econo-sized oil drums. Unfortunately, I can't save the world -- if only because the Devil has my hardware by the balls.