The Truth about the New Humanity, III 6/29/02

This should really be the last time I write about these two.

A few months back, a reader forwarded me a scary email. He felt--and rightly so--that this was an email begging for a healthy dose of ridicule. So, I did what I do. I stepped up to the keyboard and I made fun of it.

That was the Truth about the New Humanity I--although I didn't add the 'I' at the time because I had no idea that the New Humanity would become a saga.

A few months after that I received a couple of versions of the revised edition. Pinhead Ryan had become Pinheads Ryan and Jacob. While we were all extremely pleased that Ryan had found a friend, it didn't save us from the moral imperative of ridiculing him again. Which we did, in The Truth about the New Humanity, II.

(By the way, I almost didn't bother to write that one. I wasn't sure I could make it funny again, and I didn't feel that Ryan needed any more attention than I'd already given him. But when one letter turned to several, I sortta had to.) (And I still don't think it was as funny as that first one.) (Come to think of it, I have serious doubts about making this one funny, too.) (Wish me luck!)

Admittedly, I had some real doubts when I received those emails. To be honest, I thought someone was messing with me. After all what are the odds of this crazy spam reaching not one, but several of the limited number of people who've read this page? Oddly, it never occurred to me that reproducing the letter on my page would generate hits from people looking for words from the letter. Kinda sad that I didn't think of that, isn't it?

Wanna know what made me think of that? Do ya? Well, I'll tell ya. Over the last two days, I've lost count of the emails I've received about Ryan and Jacob. People asking me if I know what their webpage is, so they can get a few laughs. People telling me that if it was a hoax to get people to come to the Truth page, it was a clever one.

And, best of all, people telling me where the page is--and not just where the page is, but all sorts of other information as well. Have a look at this:


This is in reference to the "Ryan and Jacob" email you talk about on your website. I got the same email spam from them today and went digging around. I don't know if you found this info or not, but here is what I found:

First off the website the spam drops hints for is at:

There are bios and some minimal explanations there, though it seems to be some sort of a search for sociopaths (or perhaps just kids goofing around).

Google's cache shows a version of the eternalambition website used to be hosted in GeoCities under:
Home > Member Pages Directory > Religion & Beliefs > Atheismand was created by someone using the yahoo id eternalambition2002.

That yahoo id has a profile and yahoo messenger contact at:

Whois shows the eternalambition domain is handled by:

And WHOA ... I gotta put the brakes on here because HOLY COW I had no idea there was this much information about us out there. Suffice to say that David gave me not only his name, but also his home address and his freakin' telephone number. I know that it's public information out on Whois and that anyone can get to it, but when we start messing with home addresses and names and phone numbers, my nose picks up a funny scent--and that scent very well could be the smell of a team of lawyers getting very happy all over the insides of their expensive wool pants. Or, it could be a wet dog. Either way, I'm not taking any chances.

And now, the scary part. He ends the letter with this ...

That's all I could dig up tonight.


That's all he could dig up tonight. As in, "If you give me another night, I can tell you what drugs his mother was on the night he was conceived."

Very, very nice work, David. And just for the record, I need to share the credit for giving me their web address with Eric from, who also sent it to me.

(By the way, visit that page--it's very funny stuff.)

Here's another one--and I'm just going to do the two, because damn, there are a lot of them.


I just got the Ryan and Jacob "fakes" e-mail, which led me to your page and a hearty chuckle. I also R-E-C-E-I-V-E-D it from a pretty much non-published e-mail address (in fact, I just checked and that e-mail address does not exist anywhere on the web and the only way you could find it would be to change into for a web page that is not linked to from anywhere).

One thing I wanted to note about your page: memes are a real concept, not something these people made up. You may or may not be aware that Richard Dawkins coined the term in the book The Selfish Gene. It's actually in the Merriam-Webster on-line dictionary:

I had no idea. I feel like such a ... such a meme.

A few further notes:

1) You probably already knew this. (Especially since "almost any combination of words has occurred numerous times"!)


2) I am not an evolutionary biologist, but I don't think Ryan (or Jacob) have a 100% grasp on mimetics.

I'm totally witih you, there.

3) Your note about the spelling of "weird" is spot-on.

Thanks--good to know I'm not the only one who's noticed that.

One question: this web page that they are alleging that I should find--do you have an archived copy of it anywhere? I think it would be interesting to review (and also to see THE TEST of whether or not I am cool enough to be in the nuts-people club).

aard (if you want to find me, search for aard on any search engine (guaranteed to work with google)!!)

A great letter all around, wouldn't you say?

A quick thanks to everyone who wrote me about this--if not for you, I wouldn't have checked the stats for this page and realized that my hits had grown five-fold thanks to those two lovable losers.

I'd make fun of what I found out on their site, except that they've converted me.

Just kidding.