The Truth about the Car Radio 4/24/98

Dear Mr. Steele

Why is it that when people are driving and then get lost...they turn their radios down? Do they really think that they will find their way if they can hear the car running?

Pondering

KristieDnM

I've often said there are two types of people in the world: those who turn their radios down when they're lost, and those who don't get lost. The explanation for this one is rather simple, and won't require me to wake up Dorito Guy at 3 AM (although I have to admit that I'm somewhat tempted to do this anyway).

The answer is: we are guided by Voices. The Voices tell us to go left or to get into the right lane for the upcoming exit or to chop up the girlfriend and spread the pieces across the southern part of the state. When we don't do what the voices ask, things get Bad.

The whole reason we got lost in the first place was because the radio was too loud and we couldn't hear the Voices. So we turn the radio down so the Voices can get us back to the roads we know.

At least that's the reason why I  turn the radio down. I don't know why you lunatics do it.