The Truth about the Stocking 2/27/00

Okay ... I'll get to that one shortly. But first, a little critique from a friend.

A decree by El Presidente

mr. steele,

i have recently read the new "truth about goth-lite"
and am sad




in the second part of your story you had been asked to address the issue of "the titty" and the associated etiquette, by some poor young innocent, and instead you give her/him (who knows with this internet thing) a cursory introduction to the scene with no true clarifiaction as to the goings-on for shame march back to your keyboard and do your job!!

that is all

Actually, it wasn't that just didn't think to clarify the Titty Bar Ettiquette ... I intentionally avoided the issue. You see, there are several schools of thought on the subject, and I didn't want to represent my particular school as being right or wrong.

Here's what I do: any bitch who comes around gets $1, stuck into whatever article of skimpy clothing they want to pull open for me. That's pretty-much it. Templar -- on the other hand -- does things a little diffferent. Any bitch who comes around gets a hard stare, unless he measures by some yardstick he hasn't told me about that they deserve a dollar. And when they do deserve a dollar, he puts it into their hand instead of into their cleavage. I don't have a clue what it is he's doing exactly, but I do know that I've never managed to date a dancer and he's managed it several times, so there must be something to it.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Dear Mr. Steele,

I know you are no Emily Post or Miss Manners, but I thought perhaps you could help me with a touchy etiquette problem. I read once where Miss Manners said that you don't excuse yourself after -- for want of better terms...burping or letting go of a good one...that is considered rude and draws attention to the fact that you have, though everyone in the room already knows...It's considered better manners for everyone concerned to just ignore the whole episode...gagging and holding noses not withstanding...Ah...but I digress...or maybe not. I had a situation where I didn't know the proper manners and feel I might have made a real faux pas. I...I mean a friend of mine...yes...we'll call her um ... Paulette ... went to the grocery store the other day wearing very nice black silk stockings (you know the kind that seem to stay up all by themselves) with her latest beau who happens to enjoy that kind of thing ... and while walking through the paper goods aisle she felt something strange and looked down and saw her nice black silk stocking trailing on the floor and wrapped around her sneaker (I know...what the hell was she wearing nice black silk stockings with sneakers for ... it was some kind of kinky thing ... well ... we can discuss that at a later time) I had no idea ... I mean Paulette had no idea how to react in this kind of situation ... and I was hoping you could offer some advice in case it ever happens again. (though I said next time it would be attached to the corset and garter belt ... or told Paulette to get one) I thank you for your time and attention.

Miss Etiquette Challenged

Heh-heh ... um ... hrm. I wish I had any suggestions at all about this one, but I always wear hose instead of stockings so it can't go anywhere under my jeans.

But still ... Oofah!