The Truth about Being the Dumb One 1/22/98

Have ya missed me?

Sorry about the absence but I've been busy lately, Gentle Readers. I'll fill you in.

First, there's this new book I'm writing. I swore I wouldn't bother writing another book, and yet here I am. No, it's not a sequel to the book you can get to from this site -- it's a virtual reality-thing. Fun, so far.

On top of that, it seems Mr. Steele now has a girlfriend. Yeah, I can't believe it either. Long story. I'll start from the beginning.

Last week, some friends of mine set me up on a Blind Date . . . my very first Blind Date, ever. Somehow, I managed to get through 29 years of life without ever doing one of these.

Needless to say, I've heard some bad things about the Blind Date. Obviously, the Bad First Date-thing gets even worse if it turns out you don't even like your date's looks.

I was fairly nervous.

Sadly, it turned out rather well -- 'sadly' because if it had gone poorly I might have something funny to write . . . which brings us to today's topic.

You see, the Future Ex-Wife has her Masters Degree. She also scored 240 points higher than I did on the ole SATs. That's right Boys and Girls . . . this time around I'm the Dumb One -- and I'm glad for it.

I no longer have to be the one who knows how to get everywhere. I've programmed my last VCR. No more trouble-shooting the toaster 'cause-hey, I'm the Dumb One. Who was that guy who was in that movie with that guy? Not a clue . . . but the Future Ex-Wife probably knows; she's the smart one.

I've finally reached a place in my life where I can check my brain at the door. Glory, Glory Hallelujah. I can even check with her to see if that's how you really spell Hallelujah.

The only down-side to this entire affair is that she's SO smart she seems accustomed to 'dumbing herself down,' so that whoever she's dating doesn't have to feel inferior. Apparently, some guys have a problem with that. So she's still going to pretend that she had no idea that her remote had a 'Sleep' button on it and that she doesn't know the way home. But I'm not really concerned. I'll just have to work with her a little bit ... make it clear to her that if she doesn't do the thinking, no one's gonna.

The Truth for the Day? Ask the Future Ex-Wife. My brain is sitting in a jar on my desk for a well-deserved rest.

Now . . . what channel has those 'Dukes of Hazard' reruns again?